Admitting that your relationship isn’t working is one of the hardest things to do.
Once you’ve done so, you’ve got then the even harder task of trying to save it. There are lots of reasons a relationship may begin to break down, with some more significant than others.
We’ve put together a list of 5 reasons that many marriages experience bumps and an understanding of how you can begin the recovery process.
It’s not surprising to learn that infidelity is cited as the number one cause of divorce. Finding out a partner cheated on you can be a massive shock to the system.
For most people it isn’t even the act itself but what it represents. Infidelity is a huge breach of trust. The person you love and made a life with sharing something so incredibly intimate with another person behind your back.
It can also be one of the hardest things to recover from. Once trust is gone at that level many people have no desire to try and save the relationship.
By pursuing the best marriage counseling in Boulder you can at least figure out if you even want to try. A good counselor can help you both explain your feelings and get to the root cause of the infidelity.
Finances and debt are one of the biggest stressors in life for married or single people. If you’re struggling to make ends meet everything else in life seems harder and more upsetting.
It’s no surprise then that financial matters are one of the biggest issues couples face. This is especially true when you combine deceit and finances. One partner hiding a major debt from the other can be life altering.
Thankfully, though marriage counseling is often able to help here. A good therapist can teach you methods to more effectively communicate about your finances and get on the same page.
#3. Different Plans and Dreams
One of the most heartbreaking feelings in the world is, loving someone deeply, but knowing your lives just aren’t compatible. Different people want different things out of life and sometimes it just isn’t possible to combine the two.
Career goals, lifestyle choices, and religious beliefs are big ones. Each of these revolves around a closely held desire or belief that can be very difficult to compromise on.
One of the most serious examples of this revolves around children. If you want a family and your partner doesn’t, it’s going to be almost impossible to find a compromise that doesn’t leave one of you deeply unhappy.
Make sure you spend a good bit of time discussing each of your plans and dreams before getting serious. Too many people expect love to solve everything.
#4. Marriage as an Escape
Too many people get married on the rush of endorphins that comes from early in the relationship. Marriage is probably the most important decision most people will make in their lives. It’s unfortunate that too many people put so little thought into who they marry.
If you’re getting married because you aren’t satisfied with your current life or you want to ‘make a change’ it may not end well. This is especially true if you haven’t really figured out what you want from life yet.
As long as you’re both willing to grow together and listen to your counselor there’s a great chance of success for counseling.
#5. Inability to Communicate
Healthy relationships are built around communication. Being able to clearly express your needs and desires to your partner is hugely important. Unfortunately, too many people are raised without being taught effective communication skills.
On the bright side though this is one of the issues where a counselor can provide really effective help. Learning communication skills will take work but it can be done. As long as both of you are willing to be uncomfortable for a while figuring it out you have a real chance.
Good marriage counseling in Boulder will be able to open the gates of communication in session. A good counselor allows you to express your frustrations in a safe space.
#6. Be Ready to Compromise
Marriage is about compromise. You have to be able to see things from the other person’s perspective and adjust. If both parties aren’t willing to bend marriage counseling becomes much, much harder.